Stranger Love

Stranger Love

I am sorry to have loved you
and dismissed
your hand on my thigh
your nose brushing my shoulder and breast.
I'm sorry to have loved you
and forgotten
your touch, your skin, and your smell.
I'm sorry to have kissed you
and not meant it one thousand times.
I'm sorry to have fucked you
thinking you were my first and my last.
I'm sorry to have held you in my bed
warming and rewarming our bodies against the other
in new sheets, green sheets, satin and torn sheets.
I'm sorry to have thought marriage
would bring stability,
a house, a home, safety, and surety.I'm sorry to have severed my arms
to rid myself of feeling
your body, our remorse, my pain.
I'm sorry to have loved someone else
and kissed him, and fucked him, and held him.
I am sorry that I liked it.
I am sorry to have cried
for things I can no longer remember.
I am sorry I cannot remember.
I am sorry I thought it was OK
to remember.
I am sorry.
- Sarah Wagstaff